Day 66:

For the second time inside a week, there was a medical evacuation. This time, the person was in their cabin, rather than one of the bars, but it’s the same drill – don’t leave your room until the evacuation is over and keep your balcony door closed.

The last time it happened, the Pirate and I were walking down the hall during the evacuation and heard the telltale whistle that means a cabin has its outside door open. There’s always that one person, isn’t there?

Later, we were sitting at lunch in the only big open space on the upper decks we knew of. There are higher decks on either side, and there are wires going from one railing to another over the open space. Before this, I thought that’s where the helicopter would have landed, but realized that couldn’t be it. After dinner, we went for a walk up on deck and realized that there’s an area on the upper deck dedicated to sports – shuffleboard, basketball, putting green (these last two encased in nets). And right in the middle, a gigantic green circle that is doubtless the landing pad. Mystery solved!

Day 67:

Last night, we got surveys in our mail slot. The cruise company asked us to rate the entertainment, the food, the service, etc. The service, the cleanliness, the staff at the bars and lounges all got high marks.

Then there was our assessment of their onboard app. It seems like everything has to have an app nowadays, and on the Cunard app, you’re supposed to be able to see the itinerary for your entire cruise, all your port excursions, and the schedule for the entertainment on board. You’re also supposed to be able to book spa appointments, alternative dining, and port excursions. NOPE. The Pirate and I can’t do any of that. The only thing we’ve been able to do is see the .pdf of each day’s Daily Programme (which is also delivered in paper form to our cabin each night for the next day). And because the ship’s internet is so awful, even that doesn’t load right half the time.

But what I really lit into them about was the food. The Pirate is vegan, and on a normal day, there is precious little for him to eat. At breakfast they have vegetarian sausages and bacon, but they are so overcooked that they’re inedible. At lunch, even things that should be vegetarian often have gratuitous pork in them. They label everything that has gluten, dairy, shellfish – even celery! But they don’t label anything with meat. And if you don’t spot it, or don’t know their jargon for it, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise. They also seem to think that “vegetarian” and “vegan” are interchangeable.

Nearly all the baked goods are stale, as though they were loaded onto the ship at the beginning of the voyage and have sat uncovered and unrefrigerated for the last two and a bit months. The sushi’s also got that dry crunchiness that means it’s not fresh. Honestly, all those people who said they gained weight on this ship make me think that their culinary standards are pretty low.

I don’t expect anything to come of it, but we’ll see.